10/11/14- I was a little nervous that I hadn't heard from my mom in a few days and she is supposed to be flying down the next week. I get a call from some lady named Gin she tells me my mom is in the hospital and that she will take care of everything. I told her that I was on my way and I will take care of my mom and she replies "no all her stuff. I will take care of that for you, it is all junk". It hits me why do I have no clue who this lady is. She is not a friend my mom has talked to me about. I tell her to leave it alone or I will be talking with the police... She hangs up. My mom has a caregiver but I can't get a hold of him. I am not sure how sick my mom is and I can't trust the people I am talking too on the phone. I haven't lived in Alaska since 2001 but I have a few very good connections up there I can trust. When I had heard my mom had cancer it was through a friend of mine that saw her at chemo. My friend Eleanor was there because she was dealing with cancer herself. I called Eleanor to see if she could go to the hospital and check on my mom. Eleanor always kind of kept an eye on my mom. She would see her at Wal-Mart and go give her a hug for me. I felt bad for asking my friend with stage 4 ovarian cancer to go check how my mom was. Asking her to look at what she could be facing but she went without hesitation. She called me and said I needed to get there. I got on facebook to tell friends of my mom's how she was doing and started making plans to fly up. I got a call from my brother in-law's best friend Matt. Matt asked if I was going up to Alaska to see my mom. I told him I was working it out now and I plan to leave in the next couple days. Matt asked if we could come over. I brought my wife and daughter over and they asked me if they could help get us to Alaska. They just sold there house and his wife had just lost a grandparent to cancer and they wanted to do something to help. They flew my wife, daughter and I to Alaska that night. (I have permanent room in my heart for Matt and Peri they did something for me I will never be able to repay.) We ran home grabbed our bags and headed to the airport.
We got into Anchorage around 1am. I have a younger brother Bryan that I had not seen in 12 years who met us at the airport. (We were separated in states custody.) I fill Bryan in on what is going on and he say he got a call from Gin also... I got a room and we stayed in Anchorage that night there were no rental places open when we landed. The next morning I picked up a rental car and Bryan and we headed down to the peninsula. It was nice to get to catch up with my little brother it was just rough that this is how it was happening. When we got to the hospital the doctors wanted to speak with me. Since my mom did not have any legal organization on how she wanted this situation dealt with it was left up to the 5 sons. None of which were in her custody past the age of 14 and 3 of them were gone before 8. The doctor told me she has had a couple people trying to get medical updates and asked if I wanted to release that information. I told them to direct anyone to me. Several of my brothers were not comfortable making any decisions that came to mom because they felt they did not know her so they all told the hospital to have me take care of any decisions that needed to be made. I was grateful that my brothers trusted me with that and we were able to speed up things getting done to take care of my mom.
While I was sitting with my mom a woman walked in to the room looked at me turned around and walked out. I called to her and got her to stop. I asked her who she was and she said my mom's caregiver. I told her no I know my mom's care giver and she said well she is dating him and she helps out. She then also mentioned that she was buying a trailer from my mom and it is all paid off now... I knew something was up but I honestly didn't care I was there to be with my mom and I knew the kind of filth that gravitated towards my mom's kindness /gullibility. She kept trying to walk away while I was talking to her and I could see she was scared of me. It is something I see a lot I am 6 foot 5 inches and 300lbs and very shy. Sometimes me being quiet makes people nervous thinking I am mean. So I let her actions go since I was taking care of my mom. That afternoon a nurse came in and told me my mom had told her some things the week before to pass on to me. We lived in a small town and my mom thought everyone knew me so she would talk to people about me all the time. I wasn't too surprised the nurse talked to my mom about me. She said they are going to rob her and go out to her trailer and get her computer and the few family items she still had.
My mom lived 20 miles out of town and in a bit of a rough area. I headed to her trailer the next day and it was open someone had been through the trailer and her computer, tv and several other things were gone. there were a couple piles of pill bottles that were dumped out. Then it made more since. I knew my mom had sold some of her pain pills to supplement her income and I chastised her for it but she did as she saw fit. She was not one to think of consequences. Now I was getting to deal with them. I called the police and told them that my mom was in the hospital and someone robed her house. They asked if I had power of attorney and I told them no. They told me that since my mom was not dead it was still her stuff and how did they know someone was not supposed to go in there. I told them about the pill bottles and they seamed to not care. I went back to the hospital.
When I got to the Hospital a nurse asked if I saw my mom's caregiver and that she left right as I was coming in. I told the nurse my mom's caregiver was a man and I she said oh... I wen in to my mom's room and her personal closet was open. All my mom's clothes and her purse were gone. I called the state troopers told them what was going on and again they told me that she is still alive and I could not report theft of belonging that were not mine. I had to wait until the next day to go to my mom's bank to try and put a freeze on her account. When I talked to the person at the bank she told me she could not give me any information on the account. I told her about my mom and her trailer and she was very sorry about that but again no power of attorney, so no way I can do anything. I asked her what if I admitted to stealing the card? Could she close it then and she said no. (You should go set up your power of attorney. It could really help you or the people you love.)
One of the nice things about going up to see my Mom was getting to see the other people in Alaska I had not seen for 7 years. Sunday afternoon I took my family to our church to say hi to a couple people. Mostly the Goodman's They were the family that helped me get out of the group home the state had me in. I was in the home because my mom had gotten sick when I was 14 and my younger brothers went to a foster home. Due to my size they had a hard time finding a foster home that would take me. I stayed in the group home for three years waiting for a family to take me in. It wasn't until I asked if I could go to church on Sunday's that I found my own foster home. It was amazing to see the Goodman's again. They offered for my family to stay with them since they live right by the hospital. They are a big reason I am a semi functioning member of society and not dead. For as tough as my life has been at times some of the people that are put into it out weigh any trials or tribulations I face. I am blessed to have the friend and extended family I do. (Even though some days I still feel alone.)
I was in Alaska for a week my mom passed while I was there. My mom died 10 years to the day that I met my wife. I called all the people I thought should know. I took care of the things I could. The State troopers were still shit bags and the bank was unable to do anything with out a death certificate. They did tell me that there was activity on her account all week and I told the same banker from before to her face that was her fault. I was there to see my mom and say what I needed to say. I got to sit with her when she needed me and I know she is in less pain now. At the time I was not aware how much this would get me looking back to the life we lived. To the horrors I lived through why is that where my mind goes now?
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